Healthcare Worker Laughs Gifts

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

Just Browsing.

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

An aspiring magician as well as a top notch surgeon, Dr.Curmbott always tried the old tablecloth trick after each operation.'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

Nurse cautioning a patient

"Let's not talk about your diagnosis. It depresses me too much."

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

Plastic Surgery

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

'You have the new disease that terrifies the medical community... It's cure is easy and cheap.'

"And there's a surcharge if you insist on annoying the doctor with any self-diagnosis you found on google."

"This is really a hospital with a touch of class. They collect urine samples in champagne glasses."

'I've mislaid a scalpel.'

"The next patient is complaining of a running nose."

"Anyone else for a prostate test?"

'Fortunately, the virus is dormant. Just be careful you don't wake it up.'

Covid Cycle

"They said it'd take time to expel the air pumped in during the procedure"

'Take 2 of these pills last thing at night. And 2 if you wake up in the morning.'

'You call all this a side-effect?'