Healthcare Worker Giggler Gifts

"You've been playing with the controls, haven't you. . .?"

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

Just Browsing.

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

"Let's not talk about your diagnosis. It depresses me too much."

Plastic Surgery

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

'You have the new disease that terrifies the medical community... It's cure is easy and cheap.'

"This is really a hospital with a touch of class. They collect urine samples in champagne glasses."

"Guess what face I'm making now."

'I've mislaid a scalpel.'

"The next patient is complaining of a running nose."

"It's my opinion that you suffer from a hyperactive disorder. And when you're done writing that down, I'd like my chart back."

'Fortunately, the virus is dormant. Just be careful you don't wake it up.'

Covid Cycle

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

'You call all this a side-effect?'

"Anyone else for a prostate test?"

"They said it'd take time to expel the air pumped in during the procedure"