Healthcare Worker Chuckler Gifts

'You have the new disease that terrifies the medical community... It's cure is easy and cheap.'

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

Just Browsing.

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

Plastic Surgery

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

'Well, good morning Mr. Daniel, have a seat in our waiting room.'

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

'So that's 60 minutes, room 4 with Sally, and will you be taking our standard resuscitation insurance?'

"This is really a hospital with a touch of class. They collect urine samples in champagne glasses."

"If I need to stop smoking and lose weight...what are you going to do about it?"

'I've mislaid a scalpel.'

"It's my opinion that you suffer from a hyperactive disorder. And when you're done writing that down, I'd like my chart back."

"Anyone else for a prostate test?"

"The next patient is complaining of a running nose."

Covid Cycle

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

"They said it'd take time to expel the air pumped in during the procedure"

'You call all this a side-effect?'

'Fortunately, the virus is dormant. Just be careful you don't wake it up.'

"We got the results back from the post-mortem. It appears he was still alive before we started it."