Healthcare Giggler Gifts

'Says he came here to deliver a package.'

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Clown God

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

Cavemen Exhibit

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

'So did you want the ectomy, or just the otomy?'

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

'Whoops!'

'I don't need a bed pan, but an oil pan would be nice.'

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

'No! Not the second pair of gloves...'

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

"Well, if you want my blood pressure lower don't keep waiting two hours to see you."

'The government is DETERMINED to get rid of the 'target culture'...in fact we've committed to reducing targets by 68^ across 75% of the 76 most target driven departments within 96 days!'

'How's the spleen?' 'The spleen? Where is it?' 'I never studied the spleen.' 'I was left back in my spleen class.' 'I failed spleen.' 'I thought we didn't have to know the spleen.'

'The doctor will see you shortly. Try not to disappoint him.'

"Why can't we have a proper stairlift?"

"Ah-ah-ah! - Just one symptom per customer!"

Nah, not up to much – just got let go by a sneeze, so I'm between bodies.

"Who ate all the pieties?"

IRS: 'Ours and Theirs.'