Insurance Giggler Gifts

'There will be a little higher charge for double stitching.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

Clown God

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

2pm meet your Creator

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

I am one with stupid.

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

'But seriously , folks, I know you're out there, I can hear you bleeding!'

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

'Whoops!'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

'The government is DETERMINED to get rid of the 'target culture'...in fact we've committed to reducing targets by 68^ across 75% of the 76 most target driven departments within 96 days!'

'I'm sorry to tell that your husband's coverage has expired.'

Medical Treatment.

'It needs more punctuation.'

"When I asked you of you were ready for this promotion, you flailed uncontrollably. Was that a lie?"

'Sorry, I've some bad news about your nest egg.'

"Must you do that every time I say interest rates are bound to rise?"

A $50 co-pay? Well, go find someone named 'Co' and maybe they can pay you."

"Who ate all the pieties?"