Finance Giggler Gifts

"Must you do that every time I say interest rates are bound to rise?"

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Clown God

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'It's not just a job. It's about being part of something bigger than yourself.'

Cavemen Exhibit

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

"Beats me how I managed before getting a financial support animal."

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

A rising tide may lift all boats but I sank all my savings in beachfront properties.

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'The salary isn't much, but the expense account to entertain the boss, ohh-la-la!'

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

'You call it a beer belly, I prefer to think of it as a lump sum settlement of liquid assets.'

"Never mind what's in the box. That'll be discussed at the end of the month."

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

'And will you take this man to the cleaners....'

'Whoops!'

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

'Our finances remind me of a Picasso painting. He had his Rose and Blue periods. Our checkbook has its Red and Black periods.'

Luck of the IRS.

Man robbed by medical center.

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

Piggy bank queuing at the bank.

'That was Dobson on the phone... What a lucky dog! He don't need to worry about stocks and economy anymore. He just went flat broke.'

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

"It would appear that our 'rainy day investment fund' hasn't even yielded enough to buy us an umbrella each."

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.