Farming Giggler Gifts

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"Garden variety allergies."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Yard Sale

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Beginning Yarder.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Balding gnomes

'Where are you going?'

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

Your Country Needs MOO!

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

"I'm getting awfully tired of raking up you underwear..."

"I've found the lawnmower!"