Farming Giggler Gifts

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Hardy Annuals

"Garden variety allergies."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Yard Sale

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Beginning Yarder.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"What are you in for?"

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

'Where are you going?'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Balding gnomes

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Your Country Needs MOO!

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Now THAT, my friend, is a beer garden!

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

"I'm getting awfully tired of raking up you underwear..."