Gmo Giggler Gifts

'As you know, we put sardine genes in potatoes, and potato genes in sardines. The results are in. We won't do anything like that again.'

The Busy Gardener

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

The Main Types of Cheese

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Garden variety allergies."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Yard Sale

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

Beginning Yarder.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."