Gmo Giggler Gifts

'As you know, we put sardine genes in potatoes, and potato genes in sardines. The results are in. We won't do anything like that again.'

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

The Main Types of Cheese

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Hardy Annuals

"Garden variety allergies."

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Beginning Yarder.

Yard Sale

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'