Whole Grain Giggler Gifts

'How can it be whole if the wheat has been ground into a powder?'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

Not you. Your hair.

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

Moo! OOM!

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.