Rural Giggler Gifts

I fart more than that!

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

Hardy Annuals

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Beginning Yarder.

Yard Sale

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"What are you in for?"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Balding gnomes

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

2pm meet your Creator

'Where are you going?'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

Now THAT, my friend, is a beer garden!