Rural Giggler T-Shirts

I fart more than that!

The Busy Gardener

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Beginning Yarder.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Yard Sale

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'Where are you going?'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Balding gnomes

2pm meet your Creator

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

I am one with stupid.

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."