Jungle Giggler T-Shirts

He's a terrible climber, but he's pretty good with tools.

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

Hardy Annuals

"Garden variety allergies."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

Yard Sale

Beginning Yarder.

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"