Jungle Giggler Gifts

The Busy Gardener

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

The Main Types of Cheese

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Garden variety allergies."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Beginning Yarder.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Yard Sale

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"