Garden Giggler Gifts

I can never tell the plants from the weeds! Pull them all up and the ones that grow again are the weeds!

The lesser of two weevils: "The farmer's worked really hard on his cotton crop. I say we leave it alone."

Mixed Ability Brown, Landscape Gardener

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Dog buries bone.

"Of course they're weeds.What do you expect at these prices?..Roses?"

'My hay fever is really acting up.'

"You planted only beans and corn last year, right Herman...?"

'There, there, Dear. A poinsettia's for Christmas, not for life.'

The Busy Gardener

Seasonal Migration of the Mowers

Gardening for Beginners

'...and this is the water garden...'

"Have you seen my hot water bottle?"

'Honest! It was the only tree I could find!'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'The salad is that expensive because we had to find a new place for the snails and worms.'

'Can't you escape or something - The grass needs cutting?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"I'm getting awfully tired of raking up you underwear..."

'Try to remember what it said on the packet.'

"You still trying to grow those mashed potatoes?"

Growing Pyramid.

'Be sure to get the whole root.'

'Yum! Humans are hiding huge chocolate eggs in their gardens today...'

"It's my week to be responsible for the class plant."

"Don't overfeed it!"

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

"No, there's nothing wrong. I just took a shortcut through the onions."

Beginning Yarder.

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

"Here, try this anti-dandruff fertiliser my gardener recommended."

"It appears to have all the physical properties of a normal plant. . . Hello - what's this?"