Greens Giggler Gifts

'Oh no. How are you going to get it out of that little hole?'

The Busy Gardener

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"Garden variety allergies."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Beginning Yarder.

Yard Sale

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

"Things are getting really bad around here. Phil, the office plant, was just let go."

Balding gnomes

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'Where are you going?'

Grass saying: mow me/feed me/weed me/roll me.

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

'But, Mom - I am watering the garden just like you told me!'

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.