Germ Giggler Gifts

"Whew, that was rank. I didn't want that baby trapped in this suit. I might have died!"

The Busy Gardener

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"Garden variety allergies."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

Yard Sale

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

Beginning Yarder.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'