Germ-conscious Giggler Gifts

"What do you say we get out of here and go someplace less contagious?"

"Hey, buddy, can I bum a slip."

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

Hardy Annuals

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Beginning Yarder.

Yard Sale

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"What are you in for?"

'It was this big. I swear'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

Balding gnomes

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'Where are you going?'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Nethead strip: Speak binary

Cavemen Exhibit

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'