Germ-conscious Giggler T-Shirts

"What do you say we get out of here and go someplace less contagious?"

"Hey, buddy, can I bum a slip."

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"Garden variety allergies."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Yard Sale

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

Beginning Yarder.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'It was this big. I swear'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Balding gnomes

Nethead strip: Speak binary

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'Where are you going?'

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'