Germophobic Chuckler Gifts

'Fortunately, the virus is dormant. Just be careful you don't wake it up.'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

"Gesundheit!"

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

Hand Sanitizer: Please Be Considerate To Your Fellow Evolvers

"Rex doesn't shake. He's a bit of a germaphobe."

"Apparently Harry is gone viral!"

'M.R.S.A'

"My Dad has just come out of hospital."

'Urgh!. . . That's disgusting.'

"I couldn't afford an antivirus, so I installed a sneeze guard instead."

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

'Gesundheit! You must have an uncommon cold.'

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

"We're well known for our freshly cooked food. Your order will be ready in a few minutes, Madame."

"I have as many organisms on my tongue as she has in her probiotic, so why won't she let me lick her face."

"Stay back. I don't know what he's got, but I'm afraid it's catching."

'I thought of becoming a doctor, but you have to wash your hands all the time . . .'

Handy chart

Hand-Made Chocolates - Chef blowing nose.

"It's gonna be hard but no more shaking and fetching for a few weeks."

Psychiatry. It's funny. You're a germaphobe and the last patient on that couch has a phobia about soap!

'What seems to be the problem?'

My eyes! That's hand sanitizer. Welcome to the 2020 season.

"To be honest it's not really driverless, I'm just scared I might catch something off the steering wheel."

'Gesundheit.'

Cut rate clinic: 'Attention! All medical personnel must wash their hands 2/ soP & WATER AFTER EVERY 10TH patient'

'Now, don't panic, but I'd like you to take off all your clothes so we can burn them.'

Wearing face masks correctly

Misplaced smugness: When you think you're the only one at the party who's thought to use the back of the hand towel.