Germophobic Jokers Gifts

"How could you call it 'dog flu'? I've never even had a sniff-le!"

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

The Return of the Germ

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

"Gesundheit!"

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"Apparently Harry is gone viral!"

"My Dad has just come out of hospital."

'Urgh!. . . That's disgusting.'

"I couldn't afford an antivirus, so I installed a sneeze guard instead."

'Gesundheit.'

'And best of all, it kills germs that cause bad breath!'

'What seems to be the problem?'

Employees Must Wash Hands

Sneeze

In order to be able to discuss his abnormal fear of contamination, Alfred had brought his own inflatable couch.

Misplaced smugness: When you think you're the only one at the party who's thought to use the back of the hand towel.

"Constipated, what a *#*##**# joke!!"

'The whole universe maybe just an atom underneath a giants fingernail...'

"Don't exhale while you're in there - he has a thing about germs."

To stop the spread of the virus. . . Remember not to touch your face.

'Fortunately, the virus is dormant. Just be careful you don't wake it up.'

I take it you don't think the one meter rule is safe enough

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

Walter always hated touching washroom doors. Now that he was dead, he no longer had to.

'Oooh. . . I don't feel good...'

"Just answer one question, Doctor - is it contagious?"

Viruses on poo shouting at a passing fly'TAXI!'

"Relax. It's just a cold."

'Do you think it's contagious?'