Germaphobe Joke Lover Gifts

I take it you don't think the one meter rule is safe enough

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

"No Hand Sanitiser"

Wash your hands

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

Soap Versus Coronavirus

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'We've got a new DNA database...'

"Gesundheit!"

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'

"Aways the victim."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

"Looks like you've got some competition."

Wearing radiation suits to clean the toilet

"Rex doesn't shake. He's a bit of a germaphobe."