Germaphobe Humorist Gifts

'Hold it! Don't come any closer! What you have is highly contagious!'

'I can accept that you're a germaphobe, but I can't get past the sneeze guard.'

Germ Away.

"I'll shake your hand as soon as I'm done downloading this hand sanitizer app."

"Stay back. I don't know what he's got, but I'm afraid it's catching."

Home test

To stop the spread of the virus. . . Remember not to touch your face.

Three dozen scones, three dozen boxes of your best tea

Walter always hated touching washroom doors. Now that he was dead, he no longer had to.

How to tell that it's Howie Mandel's dog you're dealing with.

"My mom just cleaned a disinfectant spray can with a disinfectant wipe."

Raining Coronavirus

Fleeing Covid

"Wash your hands and sneeze into the crook of your arm. . . hahaha! Very funny!"

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

The new normal

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

Wash your hands

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

Soap Versus Coronavirus

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

'...and I'm telling you that Budgie sneezed!!'

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

'We've got a new DNA database...'

"Gesundheit!"

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

Want to hear a secret? Every time they put a nut in my mouth, I give it a little lick.

"Aways the victim."