Germophobe Humor Gifts

'Urgh!. . . That's disgusting.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Wash your hands

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

"The penicillin looks good."

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

Soap Versus Coronavirus

'...and I'm telling you that Budgie sneezed!!'

'We've got a new DNA database...'

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

"Aways the victim."

"Gesundheit!"

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

There was a nasty bug going around.

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."