Germophobe Laughter Gifts

In order to be able to discuss his abnormal fear of contamination, Alfred had brought his own inflatable couch.

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

Wash your hands

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

Soap Versus Coronavirus

"The penicillin looks good."

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

'We've got a new DNA database...'

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

"Aways the victim."

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

Want to hear a secret? Every time they put a nut in my mouth, I give it a little lick.

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

"Gesundheit!"

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."