Germophobe Chuckler Gifts

"My Dad has just come out of hospital."

"Gesundheit!"

'Gesundheit.'

"Constipated, what a *#*##**# joke!!"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

"The penicillin looks good."

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"Rex doesn't shake. He's a bit of a germaphobe."

"Apparently Harry is gone viral!"

'M.R.S.A'

'Urgh!. . . That's disgusting.'

"Interesting greeting ritual."

"Here comes someone now. If we're lucky they haven't had their fly shot, or won't wash their hands!"

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

'Gesundheit! You must have an uncommon cold.'

"Actually I feel great but I read on the coronavirus blog that that might just be a symptom."

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

"We're well known for our freshly cooked food. Your order will be ready in a few minutes, Madame."

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

"I have as many organisms on my tongue as she has in her probiotic, so why won't she let me lick her face."

'I thought of becoming a doctor, but you have to wash your hands all the time . . .'

Hand-Made Chocolates - Chef blowing nose.

"It's gonna be hard but no more shaking and fetching for a few weeks."

The New Normal