Germophobe Chuckler Gifts

"My Dad has just come out of hospital."

"Gesundheit!"

'Gesundheit.'

"Constipated, what a *#*##**# joke!!"

Black Death Outbreak in Progress

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

"The penicillin looks good."

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"Apparently Harry is gone viral!"

Hand Sanitizer: Please Be Considerate To Your Fellow Evolvers

"Rex doesn't shake. He's a bit of a germaphobe."

'M.R.S.A'

'Urgh!. . . That's disgusting.'

"Here comes someone now. If we're lucky they haven't had their fly shot, or won't wash their hands!"

"Interesting greeting ritual."

"And from now on these staff meetings will be conducted online. You people are a breeding ground for germs."

'Gesundheit! You must have an uncommon cold.'

"Actually I feel great but I read on the coronavirus blog that that might just be a symptom."

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

"We're well known for our freshly cooked food. Your order will be ready in a few minutes, Madame."

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

"I have as many organisms on my tongue as she has in her probiotic, so why won't she let me lick her face."

'I thought of becoming a doctor, but you have to wash your hands all the time . . .'