Germaphobe Humor Gifts

'Do you think it's contagious?'

Ill Wind

Employees Must Wash Hands

'Hey, you there with the disgusting cold! Blow that schnoz of yours outside would ya?!'

"Don't exhale while you're in there - he has a thing about germs."

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

"Sometimes I get a little freaked out when I think about who's been touching this keyboard recently."

"Just answer one question, Doctor - is it contagious?"

Sneeze

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

The new normal

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

Wash your hands

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

Soap Versus Coronavirus

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

"The penicillin looks good."

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

'...and I'm telling you that Budgie sneezed!!'

'We've got a new DNA database...'

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'