Germaphobe Humor Gifts

'Do you think it's contagious?'

Ill Wind

Employees Must Wash Hands

'Hey, you there with the disgusting cold! Blow that schnoz of yours outside would ya?!'

"Don't exhale while you're in there - he has a thing about germs."

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

"Sometimes I get a little freaked out when I think about who's been touching this keyboard recently."

"Just answer one question, Doctor - is it contagious?"

Sneeze

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

The new normal

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

Wash your hands

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

"No Hand Sanitiser"

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

"The penicillin looks good."

Soap Versus Coronavirus

'...and I'm telling you that Budgie sneezed!!'

'We've got a new DNA database...'

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

"Gesundheit!"

"Aways the victim."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'