Germophobe Humorist Gifts

'Sorry, I'm anticipating the pandemic.'

You're never alone! You're constantly being watched by millions of germs!

Wash your hands, flu boy. I'm not sick. You look peaked. I do? You'll be dead by morning!!!!!!! Latte, extra foam. For goodness sakes.

'What seems to be the problem?'

Truck marked 'Antiseptic Tank Pumping' goes to hospital.

Employees must wash hands before leaving restroom and avoid dropping boogers in food.

Exit

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

The new normal

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

Wash your hands

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

"The penicillin looks good."

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

Soap Versus Coronavirus

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

'We've got a new DNA database...'

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

"Aways the victim."

Want to hear a secret? Every time they put a nut in my mouth, I give it a little lick.

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'

"Gesundheit!"