Germophobe Comedians Gifts

'And best of all, it kills germs that cause bad breath!'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Wash your hands

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"No Hand Sanitiser"

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

"The penicillin looks good."

Soap Versus Coronavirus

'We've got a new DNA database...'

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

"Aways the victim."

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

Want to hear a secret? Every time they put a nut in my mouth, I give it a little lick.

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

"Gesundheit!"

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

'Quit being a baby- go see doctor Brown, and let him shoot you full of something!'

Wearing radiation suits to clean the toilet

Caveman bathroom

"Looks like you've got some competition."