Germaphobe Joker Gifts

A stack of chamber pots sits next to a horror show.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

Wash your hands

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

Soap Versus Coronavirus

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

'We've got a new DNA database...'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

Want to hear a secret? Every time they put a nut in my mouth, I give it a little lick.

"Aways the victim."

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'

"Gesundheit!"

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

'Quit being a baby- go see doctor Brown, and let him shoot you full of something!'

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

Wearing radiation suits to clean the toilet

Caveman bathroom

"Rex doesn't shake. He's a bit of a germaphobe."