Germaphobe Joker Pillows

A stack of chamber pots sits next to a horror show.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

Wash your hands

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"No Hand Sanitiser"

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

Soap Versus Coronavirus

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

'We've got a new DNA database...'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'

"Aways the victim."

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

"Gesundheit!"

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

Wearing radiation suits to clean the toilet

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

"Looks like you've got some competition."

'Quit being a baby- go see doctor Brown, and let him shoot you full of something!'