Germophobic Jokers Pillows

"How could you call it 'dog flu'? I've never even had a sniff-le!"

The Return of the Germ

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

"Gesundheit!"

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"Apparently Harry is gone viral!"

"My Dad has just come out of hospital."

'Urgh!. . . That's disgusting.'

"I couldn't afford an antivirus, so I installed a sneeze guard instead."

"Stay back. I don't know what he's got, but I'm afraid it's catching."

'And best of all, it kills germs that cause bad breath!'

'Gesundheit.'

'What seems to be the problem?'

Sneeze

Employees Must Wash Hands

Misplaced smugness: When you think you're the only one at the party who's thought to use the back of the hand towel.

How to tell that it's Howie Mandel's dog you're dealing with.

'The whole universe maybe just an atom underneath a giants fingernail...'

"Constipated, what a *#*##**# joke!!"

"Don't exhale while you're in there - he has a thing about germs."

In order to be able to discuss his abnormal fear of contamination, Alfred had brought his own inflatable couch.

Dave began to question the new secretary's competency when he found her using rubber gloves to avoid computer viruses.

To stop the spread of the virus. . . Remember not to touch your face.

'Oooh. . . I don't feel good...'

Walter always hated touching washroom doors. Now that he was dead, he no longer had to.

I take it you don't think the one meter rule is safe enough

'Fortunately, the virus is dormant. Just be careful you don't wake it up.'

"God bless you. Now, put on your bloody mask!"

Viruses on poo shouting at a passing fly'TAXI!'

Rudy, I want you to get to know my pet gerbil. I think I'm catching a cold. He's not good in new situations. I can hear you. This is weird. Don't freak out, Rudy. Trust me, it's all very normal. Want a hand bath? I want a Kleenex. Help.

"Just answer one question, Doctor - is it contagious?"

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

"Don't you worry about the dangers of spreading germs?"

"Relax. It's just a cold."