Germaphobe Warrior Gifts

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

The new normal

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

Wash your hands

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

Soap Versus Coronavirus

'We've got a new DNA database...'

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

Want to hear a secret? Every time they put a nut in my mouth, I give it a little lick.

"Aways the victim."

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

'Quit being a baby- go see doctor Brown, and let him shoot you full of something!'

"Looks like you've got some competition."

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

"It's almost flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one!"

Rule #1. Of what? HYPOCHONDRIACS HANDBOOK. A little passion project I'm working on; or, rather, I would be working on. I can't write or type wearing my protective anti-flu gear. Rule #1: Get some loser to take dictation for you. I hate where this is heading.

Caveman bathroom

Wearing radiation suits to clean the toilet

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

Drive Thru Flu Clinic