Germaphobe Guru Gifts

"And lately I've stopped washing my hands after only 18 seconds."

"It kind of kills the mood with you leaving every five minutes to wash your hands."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

The new normal

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"No Hand Sanitiser"

Wash your hands

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

Soap Versus Coronavirus

"The penicillin looks good."

'...and I'm telling you that Budgie sneezed!!'

'We've got a new DNA database...'

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

"Aways the victim."

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

There was a nasty bug going around.

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."