Germophobic Guru Gifts

'Your prescription is ready. Please don't approach the counter. I'll toss it to you.'

The office is a breeding ground for winter cold and flu germs.

"Good luck - watch out for the 20 second power douche tsunamis - and stay safe."

The new normal

COVID 19

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'Oh, I dunno. hat would you like to evolve into?'

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

John Snow

"Always give a good, firm handshake...then immediately sanitize your hands."

Drive Thru Flu Clinic

"I couldn't afford an antivirus, so I installed a sneeze guard instead."

'I don't know what this is, but you should see how fast it's growing!'

'A giant killer macrophage! Doctor, this is madness!'

"I had to get the glass in my front window replaced. I've never known anyone with a more powerful sneeze than my dad!"

"It's great to be back!"

'What seems to be the problem?'

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

'Ricky, you're buying a stock that belonged to a total stranger? How do you know where it's been?'

Practice Bug Control this Season.

'Why do I have to cover my mouth when I sneeze? After all, we're just making liver.'

Hand Sanitisers

"Wait – did you wash your hands?"

'Don't take this personally, Walter, but go home!'

To stop the spread of the virus. . . Remember not to touch your face.

"Okay, dictation monkey, can you read back to me my Hypochondriac's Handbook rules to live by?"

Walter always hated touching washroom doors. Now that he was dead, he no longer had to.

'Fortunately, the virus is dormant. Just be careful you don't wake it up.'

'Oh-oh -- they're having a big war over which one of us to worship!'

Microbe World

You're never alone! You're constantly being watched by millions of germs!