Germ-conscious Guru Gifts

Meet the candidate...VOTE YOMP: 'Forgive me if I don't shake hands- germs, you know!'

"Do you know how unsanitary double-dipping is?"

Disease Management

"These new variants are triggering my impostor syndrome."

COVID 19

'That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again.'

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

"Your right.. It is waving back at us."

'Oh, I dunno. hat would you like to evolve into?'

'Louis Pasteur, after discovering that microbes transmitted disease, experimented with methods for killing them'

"Cheer up, might never happen!"

"We're using genetic engineering to modify the molecular structure of a plant's natural cellulose. We convert selected parts of the plant into plastic!"

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

'He's one of those genetically-altered antibodies.'

'We are parasites, but I think we also have parasites.'

'Mr McGregor's growing genetically modified carrots!'

John Snow

'Here's something I'd like to do... microbiology!'

Genetic engineering - mutant DNA escaping from a laboratory.

"Always give a good, firm handshake...then immediately sanitize your hands."

Rule #1. Of what? HYPOCHONDRIACS HANDBOOK. A little passion project I'm working on; or, rather, I would be working on. I can't write or type wearing my protective anti-flu gear. Rule #1: Get some loser to take dictation for you. I hate where this is heading.

You say genetically modified po-tay-to. I say genetically modified po-tah-to.

'STOP! You're injecting the wrong GMO gene!'

"He's a phony - made of all those new fat substitutes."

Savoy Dental Salon

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

Heat and Food Poisoning

'Right now it's about a tie.'

'How can we get the flu? We are the flu.'

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

'I don't know what this is, but you should see how fast it's growing!'

'A giant killer macrophage! Doctor, this is madness!'