Germ Jokers Gifts

'Oooh. . . I don't feel good...'

The Return of the Germ

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Comicron

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

One of Many California Gene Pools

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

'Look...it's almost empty! Those pesky birds need to quit stealin' the food out of this squirrel feeder!'

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

'Looks like the deer are moving out of these woods.'

'And so, Ladies and Germs, I conclude that we must promote homeopathy! This may be our best chance to wipe out the human race since the glory days of the Black Plague.'

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

Autumn Only $5 Per Bag

A man squashed by a giant leaf

"Whatever."

Rabbit being eaten.

Infectious Diseases Lab. I don't care how you collected bugs as kids. We don't poke holes in the containers here.

'She's no ladybird Stan...' - Ladybird says 'bum...bottom.'

"You BOTH have the asshole gene?"

'Keep this to yourself, Henderson, this will fund our research for the next ten years!'

Cut down your own tree.

Muscle Music.

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

"Have you ever wondered if there's more to life than this..?"

Nah, not up to much – just got let go by a sneeze, so I'm between bodies.

'Now don't you go worrying about it. It's only communicable to children!'

"Whew, that was rank. I didn't want that baby trapped in this suit. I might have died!"

Dried Herbs

Bull in field lurking behind tree waiting to ambush ramblers.

'Was it windy last night...?'

'Our basic membership is $470. And for an extra $50 our staff will refrain from pointing and snickering at you in your workout clothes.'

Vocal Fry

"How could you call it 'dog flu'? I've never even had a sniff-le!"