Girly Giggler Gifts

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Not you. Your hair.

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Hardy Annuals

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Get on with it!

Yard Sale

Beginning Yarder.

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Fancy a pint?

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"What are you in for?"

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Balding gnomes

'Where are you going?'