Grizzly Giggler Gifts

'Yes,I'm wearing clean underwear.Why do you ask?'

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Clown God

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

Swinging through the jungle.

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

'Whoops!'

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

"What kind of mileage does it get?"

"It doesn't work on geese."

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Black Hole Corks

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

The Big A** Theory

'Dicing with Death'

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'