Giraffe Giggler Gifts

"How can you look into those eyes and make her sleep outside?"

'How's the diet coming?'

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Clown God

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

"It doesn't work on geese."

"What kind of mileage does it get?"

'Whoops!'

'Sorry, what was that?'

'Finally some good news about out new vitamin pill!'

Hockey Goal

"You've done it, Martin - you've taught him to smile!"

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

"He was a whistle blower but I was the only one who could hear it."

Stretcher Header.

'Yes,I'm wearing clean underwear.Why do you ask?'

'I'm sorry, but you're just too tall to make it in the ballet world.'

Identical twins, separated at birth. Both like to...chase cars, take naps, fetch sticks, bark, sit on furniture.

The Baby Mechanic

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

'Why didn't he stop the ball?'

"He should've passed the puck."

"Lady!!! Could we turn down the A.C.?!"

"Who ate all the pieties?"

People who love the supine position tend to lie down on the job.

"I think I'm picking up a 'holier than thou' vibe here."