Garfield Giggler Gifts

'Another serious stroke is a possibility, so if you have any sudden drooling, dizziness, or if you ever laugh out loud at a Garfield cartoon, call 911 immediately.'

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

Clown God

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Hardy Annuals

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Yard Sale

Beginning Yarder.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"What are you in for?"

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'It was this big. I swear'

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'He never listened to his mother!'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'Where are you going?'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"