Garfield Giggler Pillows

'Another serious stroke is a possibility, so if you have any sudden drooling, dizziness, or if you ever laugh out loud at a Garfield cartoon, call 911 immediately.'

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

Clown God

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"Garden variety allergies."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Yard Sale

Beginning Yarder.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'It was this big. I swear'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'Where are you going?'

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."