Gorilla Giggler Gifts

Penile Implants

Waiting room.

Swinging through the jungle.

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

Clown God

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"Garden variety allergies."

Hardy Annuals

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Beginning Yarder.

Get on with it!

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Yard Sale

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Moo! OOM!

"What are you in for?"

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

Fancy a pint?

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'Where are you going?'