Ghoul Giggler Gifts

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

Zombie standup

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Clown God

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Get on with it!

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Fancy a pint?

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'It was this big. I swear'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'He's wearing a toupee.'

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

Swinging through the jungle.

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

Black Hole Corks

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'Whoops!'

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

'But seriously , folks, I know you're out there, I can hear you bleeding!'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

Oh, oh... I detect traces of tree nuts... where's my epipen?

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'