Goth Giggler Gifts

'But seriously , folks, I know you're out there, I can hear you bleeding!'

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Clown God

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Not you. Your hair.

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Get on with it!

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Fancy a pint?

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

2pm meet your Creator

'He's wearing a toupee.'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

Swinging through the jungle.

I am one with stupid.

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

"Next time your virtual fish dies, please don't try flushing your computer down the toilet."

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

Black Hole Corks

'Whoops!'

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'