Gas Giggler Gifts

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Hardy Annuals

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Yard Sale

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Beginning Yarder.

"What are you in for?"

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Moo! OOM!

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'Where are you going?'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

Balding gnomes

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'