Aquatic Giggler Gifts

"Who farted?"

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Hardy Annuals

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Yard Sale

Beginning Yarder.

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"What are you in for?"

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'Where are you going?'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

Balding gnomes

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'