Aquatic Giggler Gifts

"Who farted?"

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"Garden variety allergies."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Yard Sale

Beginning Yarder.

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Balding gnomes

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

'Where are you going?'

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'