Nautical Giggler Gifts

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Pandora's Change Purse...

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

2pm meet your Creator

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

"The cookies are always stale."

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

I am one with stupid.

'If Batman can have a batmobile why can't a snowman...'

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

"I'm beginning to believe that this is just busy work."

Black Hole Corks

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking News!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "Around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupididy' and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein. Our colleague and I were going to debate, with me arguing the universe is finite and he's arguing that it's infinite. But he pulled out saying the debate organizers are biased against his position. He didn't believe they were simply advising folks to arrive early when they said "space is limited."

My boat

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

"After analyzing the energy waves emitted by this pulsar near Andromeda, I believe we have an answer to the age old question: 'Where do jokes come from?'"

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

The Big A** Theory

Astronaut with his Space Dog.

'Which one's Ringo?'