Celestial Giggler Gifts

"It's from the IRS. They demand full disclosure of all treasures laid up here."

Clown God

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Get on with it!

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

Fancy a pint?

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

2pm meet your Creator

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'He's wearing a toupee.'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'Man, I'm bombing,'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

I am one with stupid.

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking News!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "Around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupididy' and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein. Our colleague and I were going to debate, with me arguing the universe is finite and he's arguing that it's infinite. But he pulled out saying the debate organizers are biased against his position. He didn't believe they were simply advising folks to arrive early when they said "space is limited."

'Whoops!'

"I can't create your bride until you make your co-pay."

Black Hole Corks

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'