Cosmic Giggler Gifts

The sudden extinction of prehistoric clowns explained.

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Clown God

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

Get on with it!

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

Fancy a pint?

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'He's wearing a toupee.'

Nethead strip: Speak binary

Cavemen Exhibit

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

2pm meet your Creator

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

I am one with stupid.

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupididy' and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein. Our colleague and I were going to debate, with me arguing the universe is finite and he's arguing that it's infinite. But he pulled out saying the debate organizers are biased against his position. He didn't believe they were simply advising folks to arrive early when they said "space is limited."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking News!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "Around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.

"I can't create your bride until you make your co-pay."

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

Black Hole Corks

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

'Whoops!'