Astronomy Giggler Gifts

Ass-tronauts.

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Clown God

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

2pm meet your Creator

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

Cavemen Exhibit

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Oog is an expert at throwing stones at things - he's a "rock-it" scientist.

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Nethead strip: Speak binary

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

"Let's see if I understand: your brain can't be upgraded with additional memory, and to make matters even worse, untold thousands of those brain cells die each day?"

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

I am one with stupid.

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

'Whoops!'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupididy' and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein. Our colleague and I were going to debate, with me arguing the universe is finite and he's arguing that it's infinite. But he pulled out saying the debate organizers are biased against his position. He didn't believe they were simply advising folks to arrive early when they said "space is limited."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking News!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "Around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.

Black Hole Corks

Holocene, Pleistocene, Pliocene, Miocene, Oligocene, Eocene, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Onions.

Astronaut with his Space Dog.

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! What's that malfunctioning machine? It's a "Justin Beeper"!

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

"After analyzing the energy waves emitted by this pulsar near Andromeda, I believe we have an answer to the age old question: 'Where do jokes come from?'"